Had a unique experience happen tonight at Thomas College in Waterville, Maine. First, let me set it up this way:

The person introducing me tonight was the director of the Campus Activities Board. And since I was the first event of the First Year Students’ College Career, she gave them a little etiquette lecture on “dos” and “do nots” for live shows. (i.e. turn off your cell phones, no photos or videos, don’t be on your computer during the show.) Wait – what was that last one? Who would be on their computer during a live show? Answer: someone in my front row tonight.

Guy in the front row had earphones in and was on his laptop. Once I saw it, I obviously stopped the show and talked to him. “Whatcha lookin at?” I thought maybe he was on chatroulette or something and would want to share with the rest of the class (although I’m pretty sure the audience wouldn’t want to see the dongfest that is chatroulette).

Answer: “I’m on Oovoo.” Yes – the video chat app. He was chatting up someone during the show.

Me: “Who are you talking to?”

Dude: “Just a friend.”

Me: “Is it a girl?”

Dude: “Yeah.”

Me: “Lemme see.”

So I proceeded to take a look at this dude’s hot girlfriend, and I put the mic on the computer. I asked her who she was talking to.

Hot girlfriend: “My Boyfriend.”

Me: “Oh really? Because I just asked him and he said he was just talking to ‘some girl’.

audience: “OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”


I guess shit like that is just the stuff entertainers have to get used to now. Cell phones ringing, flip cameras going, people having LAN parties in the audience – whatever. I guess I should just be glad it wasn’t a chatroulette dongfest.

All in all, the show was good. Another standing ovation tonight – another well-attended show. I love welcome week!

peace, love and oovoo,

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Show for 300-400 in La Crosse, WI at Viterbo University – home of the Viterbo V-Hawks (what?).

Me: Name a four-legged animal.
Her: Bird!
Audience: ha!

45 minutes later:

Me: What is your school’s mascot here?
Them: V-Hawk!
Me: What the hell is a V-hawk.
Hilarious audience member: It’s a four-legged bird!

LOVED IT. There’s been a real sense of spontaneity and variety in these last few shows that really makes me enjoy myself onstage. On top of that, the last couple shows have been fun simply due to outstanding facilities, students and production staff.

Two nights ago in Manchester, NH – the awesome freshman class at St. Anselm roared through the whole show. It was also nice of my agent, Laura (based in Manchester) to bring a dozen friends to the show to see me.

I’m now finding myself with an off day tomorrow – then two more days at home before I hit the road again. Very tired – but excited about the show right now.

peace, love and four-legged vhawks,

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Midwest Shows

Aug 25, 2010

The last week has been full of some beautiful views of the Midwest. I snapped this photo while driving through Western Ohio into Indiana on Tuesday.

Driving through the back country really makes me want it to be fall already. It’s almost time for College Football and beautiful orange colors on the trees during drives through New England. Fall is my favorite season. It looks like I might even be home for Halloween this year. I haven’t been home for Halloween in years.

I’ve been working hard on the road, and have had nothing but good shows so far. 3 out of the first five shows have resulted in standing ovations, a few new things are working well here and there (the new opening bit is working well) and I’m just getting started. I’d love to have a few more pictures to show you, but I left my digital camera back in Missouri, so they’re shipping it back for me. The picture above was taken with my iPhone 4 and edited with the Camera Bag App Not bad at all!

Last night’s show at Indiana University Kokomo was fun. It was a 6pm show, which is early, but its mainly a non-traditional commuter campus, so that’s a difficult time to try to get folks to come. Attendance suffered due to the nature of the college and the way their programming works, but it allowed me to do a different style of show. Half the show was done off-mic and I was able to throw in some close-up magic into the show that I normally don’t do. I also had the opportunity to talk back and forth with the 35-40 audience members a little more casually during the show. As one of the students pointed out, it’s about quality, not quantity!

U-Gene, Professional Wrestler

Tonight I’ll be at Indiana University Southeast. I was here earlier this year and I’m looking forward to another good crowd. I think tonight will be a bit larger than last time. My good buddy and professional wrestler, U-Gene, will get to come to the show and hang out afterward – which is always a good time. I met U-Gene in Korea when we were both touring there.

Tomorrow I drive back to Ohio to perform near home at Ohio Wesleyan University! I get to sleep in my own bed, so that will be nice. But then it’s off to the east coast in the morning after that!

I love the comments and the Facebook Likes and Retweets, so keep them coming – I really appreciate all of the support!

peace, love and beautiful summer drives through the country,

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For those of you who don’t know the Turd Rainbow Story, watch this video sometime. While we’re on the subject of scatalogical humor, something pretty funny happened in the show tonight at Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, OH.

I do a trick in which I ask the audience to give me a suggestion of something they might say if they saw the most amazing thing in the world. The suggestion I got was “fountain.” While it made no sense, I decided to go with the spirit of improv and use it. The idea is that the audience yells the word when a certain action happens onstage. We do that again and assign a second action to a second suggestion. The second suggestion tonight was the word “Sh*t.” Later in the routine, when the two actions are happening back to back, the entire audience found themselves chanting “Sh*t Fountain, Sh*t Fountain, Sh*t Fountain!” I couldn’t keep it together. Definitely one for the books.

Also, a google image search provides this picture. I just now laughed for five more minutes.

peace love and poop jokes,

I love BGSU! Always a great audience.

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The Fall Tour Begins!

Aug 23, 2010

I started the fall tour on Saturday in Springfield, MO performing at Missouri State University’s “Bear Bash,” which sounds kinda like a promotions night at a gay bar, but instead is an AWESOME event put on by Missouri State’s student activities. They had bands, DJs, games, wacky wavy inflatable arm flailing tube men, rides, and me! The event was CRAZY crowded. I did two shows. The first one was standing room only with almost 600 people packed into the small theater. Great crowd and a standing ovation at the end! The second one was a little less crowded, but still a fun audience. The new opener is going over VERY well. It’s a piece I took out of the middle of the show and put at the top and it plays MUCH better this way.

After getting back to the hotel around 130am, I had to get up at 4am for a 6am flight and then drove to Lexington, KY to perform at UK’s Student Center Spectacular. I performed at this event last year and had a ton of fun – I’m happy they asked me back. The room was HUGE – here’s a pic:

The show was very high energy and a lot of fun again this year. The only down side was I had to shut up a guy in the front row. While I hated having to do it, the entire audience loved it. They cheered pretty loud. He wasn’t heckling – just trying to be the funny guy with comments. I talked to him after the show and all was good. Also there was a fly or something onstage that kept flying in my face. I tried to catch it and eat it, but it got away. All in all – it was another awesome show with another standing ovation. I hope they have me back next year.

Got to my hotel again at a ridiculous hour and now, after a little bit of sleep, I drive 5 hours up to one of my favorite places to perform, BGSU. I’ve got a lot of people who come to every show I do at BGSU, and that makes me feel really cool. I hope they all show up tonight, I plan on putting on a hell of a show.

Peace, love and sleep deprivation,

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The Hard Part

Aug 16, 2009

I hear it all the time. “You’re so lucky to making a living doing what you love.” And I am. They quote the old saying, “Do something you love and never work a day in your life.” That’s partly true, but not entirely. There are hard parts to doing what I do.

For starters, I spend a lot of time away from loved ones. It stinks, but it comes with the territory. It makes it really nice to come home, though. To have friends, family and dogs waiting for me to return is really nice. I’m fortunate to have that.

My least favorite part of this job – by far – is figuring out and dealing with the logistics of travel. Having to figure out what time I need to sleep in order to get enough rest to wake up at what time is the first issue. I usually get to an airport no less than 90 minutes before a flight – even for the tiny airports (TSA in small airports can tend to search bags with much more scrutiny than in busier airports). Then there’s figuring out transportation. In most cities, I rent a car and need to allow time for that. There are many variables. I can control a lot of variables when traveling with my show. Using the same load in/set up/sound check schedule, packing things in the same consistent way(every item has its unique place) & following hotel routines all help. But there are always going to be those factors over which I have no control.

Last weekend it was traffic in Atlanta. I had left Albany, GA 5 hours before my flight, which should have gotten me to the airport 2 hrs prior to departure. Then, when I got 10 miles from the airport – boom – 8 motorcycles crashed into each other and stopped traffic for two hours, making me miss my flight. Situations like that are enough to give you anxiety if you’re not prepared to accept them. I’m getting better at not worrying about it, but it’s still the hardest part of the job and can get very stressful.

I’m writing this onboard a flight that I just barely made – had to sprint to the gate before they closed the doors. My luggage probably didn’t make it. As soon as I land, I have about 8 hours to do laundry and sleep before I have to be back at the airport to fly to Oklahoma. It’s a stressful thing, traveling for a living. But I wouldn’t trade it for any 9-5 desk job. It’s true that I’m lucky to do something I love. I never dread going to a show. They’re all awesome experiences. Last night I did my hour show for a crowd of 1700. You just can’t beat that. It’s the parts before and after that that are hard.

P.S. I apologize to anyone who read the title of this post with different expectations. Pervs!

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After WordPress, the software I use to write this blog, updated their iPhone app, I’m compelled to start blogging from the road more often. So Ive created a category called “mobile notes”. The mobile notes section will be filled with a different type of notes than usual. Many mobile notes will be microblog style brief thoughts and observations. Others will be longer notes to relieve boredom on the airplanes. Less links and photos. Just observations and notes here and there.

I’m writing this note at 20,000 ft on my way to Minnesota for NACA Northern Plains where I’ll spend a couple days hanging out with friends before flying to Hartford to perform at Western Connecticut State University in Danbury, CT. This trip marks my first as a Southwest Airlines A-List Member, which pretty much just means I get better seats and shorter lines. In reality, it means that I fly way too damn much.

I just had a conversation with the guy next to me who has two sons that have played football for Penn State, one of whom is a also a starting pitcher there. Really interesting guy. Also a pilot. It’s always interesting and awkward e ding airplane e conversation. If you don’t end the conversation, you spend the entire flight talking, which I can’t do – especially on the way to a show. But there has to be some “marker” that the conversation is over without being rude. In this case, I picked up my phone and he picked up his reading glasses at the same time, so it wasn’t awkward. I’m really stsrtingto associaten with Tyler Durden’s “single serving friend” philosophy.

Also, my mobile notes won’t have any sort of salutations a
or goodbyes.

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