This is unrelated to anything. But I just stumbled upon it while trying to abuse the crack that is Red Bull to stay awake.

Go get a binder clip – you know the little black clips with the metal “wings” that you use to hold thick stacks of paper and opened bags of potato chips together?

Now fold the clips back like you’re about to clip some paper with it.

Put the open end – the black end in your mouth just inside your lips.

Squeeze the clip open.

Inhale.

It makes a neat sound. That’s all.

You’re welcome. Now back to my Red Bull.

I grew up visiting Greenwood, SC at least once a year. My grandparents moved there when I was a kid, so the small town outside of Greenville, SC was very familiar to me when I visited to perform at Lander University last night.

I was scheduled to arrive the day before so I could spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa and my aunt and cousins who live there as well. I missed my flight leaving Columbus, which put a damper on the hanging out with family. I thought I was early, but it turns out, I looked at the ticket wrong and I was actually 1 minute too late. When I arrived at the gate, the plane was sitting there, they had JUST shut the door and they were pulling the bridge away. So I got on the next flight out 3 hours later.

Little fact: I always sit by the window. I’m not a big guy, so I rarely feel cramped. And I like to lean my head against the side of the plane if I’m taking a nap. But my seat to Greenville sucked. Here’s an example of a bad airline seat:

Arriving in Greenwood was pretty neat, as I recognized a lot of the buildings and establishments I had been to as a kid. My hotel was across the road from the Blockbuster where I remember picking out movies with my cousins to watch at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

Everyone at Lander was really friendly and into what I was doing. We had a pretty good turnout and the auditorium was nice. Here’s a shot of the auditorium when I arrived:

And here’s another shot of the theater right before doors opened:

I’m looking forward to spending the weekend at home – possibly some St. Patty’s day debauchery before heading out to perform at Albertus Magnus in New Haven, CT.

I would love to write more, but I’m absolutely exhausted.

Peace, love and sleeping on the plane,
MK

This week, the Showoff Show and I headed up to Big Rapids, MI to perform at Ferris State University.

I drove 4 hours up to Lansing, MI the night before to pick the guys up at the airport. We stayed the night there in Lansing, then drove the 2 hours to Ferris State in the morning. Here’s a brief video of the trip:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m41OY0iUno&hl=en&fs=1]

I was performing my rope trick and must have gotten into it too much. Either that, or someone sharpened my scissors when I wasn’t looking, because they sliced through the rope much easier than expected and cut right into my thumb! I felt it happen, but tried to hide it because I didn’t see any blood. I had two people onstage with me. I’m not sure if they saw it or not, but I looked down and there was blood all over the rope and it was dripping onto the stage. I think at that point, I laughingly told the girl to my right “I cut myself.” She immediately was worried but I told her “I think it’s okay.” Then I asked the stage manager for a band-aid over the microphone. No one came for awhile – after the show someone told me this was because they thought I was joking. Meanwhile, I went on with the show. Several more props became stained. Then the stage manager brought me out a band-aid and all was good. The cut’s not that bad – just in a tough place – turns out it’s kind of difficult to do my act with a band-aid on your left thumb. Who knew?

The show was a hell of a lot of fun. The Showoff Show was great and people really loved them. I really enjoy performing with them.

Here are some photos that Evan Young took from the show:

The Rope Trick

The Chicken Trick

A Serious Talk

Another quick funny story. This was a college-appropriate show. In other words, it wasn’t the show I perform for sibs weekends or corporate events. Near the end of the show, I heard what sounded like a little kid. I said, “Wait – did someone bring a three year old to the show?” Everyone laughed. It got quiet. From the back of auditorium: “I’m FIVE!”

Peace, love and childhood education
MK

Hey Everyone!

It’s been forever since I’ve written on here and, sitting in a diner with a couple friends in Hartford, CT, I decided I needed to be a little more diligent about it.

Last year ended really well with the Blue Angels performance and there are lots of things to be excited about in 09.

First off, voting is JUST NOW ending for the Campus Activities Magazine Reader’s Choice Awards. I was nominated for two awards. In addition that excitement, I had a showcase at NACA Nationals, which is kinda like the Disneyland of Campus Activities. I had a great time – more about that later. This blog is starting to sound like a clips show on a sitcom when the writers were on vacation so they turn the whole episode into a bunch recaps of funny stuff that happened before. Let’s talk about some shows I’ve done so far this year.

I drove up to Alliance, OH in the snow in January to perform with the Showoff Show, good friends of mine and fellow BigName Entertainers at Mt. Union College. I performed my show first, and the Showoffs performed second. Here are a couple photos:

Then after my show, the Showoff Show surprised me with this:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39ZT3YAsYpc&hl=en&fs=1]
It was a great time and I can’t wait to get back to Mt. Union!

After that I headed out to Massachusetts to perform at Bridgewater State College. This is the largest commuter campus I’ve ever seen. 10,000 students and most of them commute! So I was worried that having a weekend show there wouldn’t draw a crowd, but thankfully I was wrong. We had a great turnout and had a very fun show. The A/V tech told me a story about the last magician to perform there. They wouldn’t let him bring his appearing motorcycle in the building. When the performer was asked why he didn’t tell them about the motorcycle before hand, his answer was “It’s supposed to be a surprise!” hahaha Here’s a review from the Bridgewater State News about the show.

When I returned home, I immediately showered and headed downtown to perform for my friend Ricky’s going away party. Ricky was an athletic trainer for BalletMet in Columbus and left for Las Vegas to be a trainer for Criss Angel’s new show, beLIEve. Met some really cool folks and had a lot of fun performing in my home city for a change.

A day later, I flew down to Jacksonville, FL to perform at Jacksonville University. I got there early so I had time to have lunch downtown. I sat at a little microbrew on the river and ate outdoors on the patio. It was overcast but 65 degrees and NO one was eating outside. For Floridians, that’s FREEZING. The only other two guys on the patio were also from Ohio! Jacksonville’s campus was really pretty.

Now imagine that in the early evening on a hazy night. Before my show, I stepped outside and just kind of took it in. It was really nice to be out of the 10 degree Ohio weather for a day.

I almost didn’t get home the next day. Half the airports on the east coast were shut down. I had two delays and one cancellation, but finally made it home after spending most of the day in Baltimore.

It was a good thing I got back in time, because I had to drive 6 hours the next day to perform at Lock Haven University in Lock Haven, PA. The folks at Lock Haven are super nice. I really enjoyed hanging out with them. They did a great job of promoting the show, too. So much so, that my show was the most highly attended event of the year! We had more than 500 people come out! Here’s a video I took backstage:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0Vn60gIs2E&hl=en&fs=1]

Met a lot of really cool people in Lock Haven. Some of them, I even got the chance to hang out with again in Nashville a few weeks later:

From PA, my next show was at Rutgers University in Camden, NJ. This was my second time performing here. The first time was about a year ago. I saw some familiar faces and friends that I made a year ago at the show. Here are some photos of the show:

The sound and lighting at Rutgers Camden is done by Sonus and they do a hell of a job, as you can see from the photos.

The next day, I performed at Greene St. Studios in the Germantown area of Philadelphia. The venue and attendance was small, but I still had fun at the show. The audience was full of a combination of professional jugglers, magicians and mentally disabled adults. A challenging show to say the least. Here’s the entire show compressed to 01:35:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_8DBsYdfFE&hl=en&fs=1]

I had a lot of fun at this show. It was nice to do something different – different type of audience and venue. And had an amazing time after the show too.

After a couple days off, I performed back in Columbus, Ohio for a networking event. It was heavily tweeted about. Read some of the comments about this show on my Twitter Favorites. There’s a blog about it with photos and video here. Feel free to follow me if you use Twitter!

Funny story – If you’ve seen my show, you know about the box inside a box inside a box, etc. Airport security (TSA) had fun with me with these coming back from Philly. They put an inspection notice in EACH box. Too funny.

I know this post is getting long, but there are a few more things to write about!

I flew to Nashville, TN to showcase at NACA Nationals. I was the roving artist the first day of the conference. It was held at the Gaylord Opryland Resort, which was incredible!

I went to the conference represented by LGA and had a great time hanging out in the booth with the Showoff Show, Jeff Civilico and Dale K – showoffs, a juggler and a hypnotist, respectively. There was even a full page ad in the Conference program! Here are some photos!

I left the conference a day early to perform in Hartford, CT at the University of Hartford. Christian and Harris at Hartford were really nice guys and brought in an awesome crowd for me by using University-based opening acts that everyone knew. I have to say – both acts were top notch. Hawkapella is an all-male a cappella group who incorporates a lot of comedy and personality in their arrangements. I was impressed and they were a great opener. The second opening act was Stop Laughing Mom, a student improv group. They did several sketches and really got some great laughs – the perfect warmup for my show. The crowd at Hartford was really warm and laughed a lot.

From Hartford, I flew to Birmingham, AL to perform for the American Foundry Society’s Southeastern States Conference. The hotel was cool. I didn’t see any of Birmingham whatsoever. My hotel was connected to a mall and the show was held in the hotel, so I literally saw nothing else. The AFS people were really fun and we all got drunk in the hotel bar after the show.

The next show was Pittsburgh, PA at Duquesne University for their Casino Night. I don’t have any photos from this show yet, but the stage was big and the crowd was kinda splotchy at the beginning. By the end of the show, it was pretty full. All of Duquesne’s show choir was in the audience because they were performing after me. At one point the entire show choir got up in the middle of the show. Then 10 minutes later, they came back. Only MILDLY distracting. haha Some good friends in Pittsburgh got to come see me perform, which was nice. And my hotel had a cool view of the soon-to-be replaced Mellon Arena, where the Penguins play.

So now, I’ve had an ENTIRE WEEK off, which is MUCH NEEDED. Tomorrow, I leave again to meet up with the Showoff Show again in Lansing, MI. From there, we head to Ferris State University in Big Rapids, MI to perform together.

And if you haven’t seen my latest video, take a look!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=717PHWWfpSg&hl=en&fs=1]

There. Now you’re all caught up on 2009. I will try to blog more often from now on. I promise.

peace, love and novel blogs,
MK

I spent last weekend in Pensacola, Florida to visit the U.S. Navy Blue Angels. “The Blues” asked me to come down and perform for their Christmas Party.  I’m sure they had no idea when they called me how much of a NERD I am for aviation.

I spent the afternoon hanging out with the men and women of the Blue Angels at their squadron at the Naval Air Station in Pensacola and got to see what their daily operations are like.  As I was walking up, the 4 diamond planes were finishing up their practice.  I got some great video of that (see below). Then I got the opportunity to walk around the hangar and meet with the pilots, the air crew and many of the nice folks I met back in August in Cleveland.

Here’s a clip of the pilots finishing up their daily practice and then me running into them in the hallway. If you’d like to see the video in high-quality, go HERE and click “watch in high quality” under the video window.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv9xC_vGhMU&ap=%2526fmt%3D18]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n1ve1JMsB0&hl=en&fs=1]

Last week I did two things: Performed at Mercyhurst College in Erie, PA and attended NACA South in Chattanooga, TN. Well, I did more than just those two things, but those are really the only two that have anything to do with anything related to this blournal.

NACA South was great. I didn’t get to attend the entire conference, but I met some cool folks and went to the Tennessee Aquarium. Here are some photos:

My pictures aren’t all that great – they’re just from my phone. But Evan Young, one half of the Show off Show, took a ton of great photos. I’m sure some of them will show up on Evan’s Flickr Account.

Mercyhurst College was a school in Erie, PA. I had never been to Erie – just driven by it on I-90. Erie was a cool little city. The students took me to an Irish pub before the show. I wish I could have stayed in Erie so I could hit up the pub after the show.

The show itself was a lot of fun Friday night. Notice from the photos below, they made the stage pretty by putting fake plants around it. Awesome. I met a lot of the Mercyhurst students after the show, so that was cool.

More photos from Mercyhurst here.

Have you been to YearbookYourself yet? It’s pretty funny. Here are some of my results.

Then I wondered what it would look like if I used my dog, Keela.

Here are the results:

The next show is a full day of close up magic for a local heavy-hitter corporate giant, then a show Thursday at the University of Texas – Pan Am. On Saturday, I’ll be going to the Buckeye Football game! Go Bucks!

peace, love and homeroom,
MK

I decided to reveal some of my secrets in a video:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9h6AVZh904&hl=en&fs=1]

I know – “What? Turd Rainbow?”  Hold on.  I’ll get there.

It’s time for FAMILY WEEKENDS in colleges.  The last three shows were all performances for family weekends.  Last week I returned to Shepherd University to perform for their Family Weekend.  It was an 11 o’clock show for their program, “Late Night in the Zone.”  We had a pretty full crowd and it was a really fun show.  Shepherd University is in Shepherdstown, WV which is a really eclectic little town near Baltimore/DC.  Driving in from BWI Airport you pass Harper’s Ferry and cross the Potomac which is absolutely beautiful.

After the show, I stopped by Harper’s Ferry on my way back to Baltimore.  I’ve driven by it before and I wanted to check it out.  It’s a little town with a rich civil war history that’s been designated a national park, but still kind of operates as a town too.  They’ve kept the town virtually the same way as it existed back then.  Lots of notable things happened there (due to it’s placement and importance, it changed hands a handful of times during the war between the North and South).  There was a large arsenal there and it was the site of John Brown’s raid.  Here are some photos I took of the town:

This was one of those places that I would have probably never been to had I not had a show nearby.  I rank it among Gettysburg and Niagara Falls in that respect.  Those are two other places I may have never visited had I not had a show nearby, but am very glad I did.

This week I traveled back to New Hampshire for a double header: Keene State College at 2pm on Saturday and Franklin Pierce University at 8pm on Saturday.  I flew in Friday night and after a 4 hour delay due to wind and fog in Philadelphia, I finally got to Keene around 3am Saturday morning.

The show at Keene was great, but before we go there, you’re probably still wondering about the title of this post.

I woke up Saturday and got in my powder blue Mercury rent-a-car and there was poo on the windshield.  Not kidding.  Not bird poo.  Not even like small animal droppings.  Poo.  We’re talking full on brown log here.  Unfortunately, I didn’t see the stinky log resting on my windshield just above the wiper blade.  Also unfortunately, there was water on my windshield and I had to use the wiper blade.  The result was a brown smear in an arc across the windshield.  That’s right…a Turd Rainbow.

Absolutely disgusting.  I really am perplxed as to how a poo got on my car.  Did someone put it there?  There was a car wash across the road, do they sneak out at night and put poo on cars to drum up extra business?  Then I started thinking about some alternate theories:

The thought of a dog squatting on the upper hood of a car is hilarious to me.  What kind of dog would do that?  It’s absurd – but I suppose there are stranger theories:

I shared this story with my audience at Keene.  They enjoyed it.  Probably not as much as I did.  The show was a ticketed event and sold out!  They even made more room and sold a few extra tickets right before the show! The students were great and very nice.  They decorated my green room:

I left wondering if the students would talk about me after the show.  “He was funny, but he talked about poo a lot.”

While I enjoyed the novelty of poo on my windshield, I didn’t want to get NEAR it.  It was staying right where it was.  I don’t touch poo.  – kind of a personal rule, I guess.  So I left the log resting comfortably on the bottom of the windshield and decided to get lunch.  I guess I underestimated the smell of a Turd Rainbow.  When I went through the drive through at Wendy’s, I had forgotten about the brown smear on my window and I kept smelling the most awful smell.  “This Wendy’s smells like CRAP!” I kept thinking.  I considered telling the lady at the window that they need to clean up outside or something, because the place really did smell awful.  It wasn’t until I was halfway to Franklin Pierce University that I realized what I was smelling was the Turd Rainbow.  Taste the Rainbow.

Franklin Pierce University was beautiful.  It’s in the part of New Hampshire that always reminds me of the movie “What About Bob” with Bill Murray.

I’m happy I snapped this photo out of the car window while driving in.  The colors on the leaves were amazing and the anchored sailboat just added to the scene.  The university is placed right on this large pond nestled in the mountains of New Hampshire.

Franklin Pierce had another large crowd – more than 150 – and they had to add chairs.  I love to hear them tell me that.  So flattering.  I look forward to coming back sometime.

I sold my first few posters at these shows, which was cool.  If you can’t get to a show, you can buy them here.

That’s all I have for now.  I’m stuck at an airport for about 3 more hours before I can get home.  So if you are a facebook or myspace friend, write me a note or something to help pass the time!

peace, love and (you guessed it) Turd Rainbows™,
MK

If you get the opportunity to watch some videos of Kevin Smith’s live presentation, he is an absolutely amazing storyteller. Here’s one of my favorites:

Part One:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy_cLJ19HMg&hl=en&fs=1]

Part Two:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9O130NYr_4&hl=en&fs=1]

Part Three:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCm4Jxo3ltE&hl=en&fs=1]

Part Four:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo0LbQzdz1A&hl=en&fs=1]