I decided to reveal some of my secrets in a video:
I decided to reveal some of my secrets in a video:
I know – “What? Turd Rainbow?” Hold on. I’ll get there.
It’s time for FAMILY WEEKENDS in colleges. The last three shows were all performances for family weekends. Last week I returned to Shepherd University to perform for their Family Weekend. It was an 11 o’clock show for their program, “Late Night in the Zone.” We had a pretty full crowd and it was a really fun show. Shepherd University is in Shepherdstown, WV which is a really eclectic little town near Baltimore/DC. Driving in from BWI Airport you pass Harper’s Ferry and cross the Potomac which is absolutely beautiful.
After the show, I stopped by Harper’s Ferry on my way back to Baltimore. I’ve driven by it before and I wanted to check it out. It’s a little town with a rich civil war history that’s been designated a national park, but still kind of operates as a town too. They’ve kept the town virtually the same way as it existed back then. Lots of notable things happened there (due to it’s placement and importance, it changed hands a handful of times during the war between the North and South). There was a large arsenal there and it was the site of John Brown’s raid. Here are some photos I took of the town:
This was one of those places that I would have probably never been to had I not had a show nearby. I rank it among Gettysburg and Niagara Falls in that respect. Those are two other places I may have never visited had I not had a show nearby, but am very glad I did.
This week I traveled back to New Hampshire for a double header: Keene State College at 2pm on Saturday and Franklin Pierce University at 8pm on Saturday. I flew in Friday night and after a 4 hour delay due to wind and fog in Philadelphia, I finally got to Keene around 3am Saturday morning.
The show at Keene was great, but before we go there, you’re probably still wondering about the title of this post.
I woke up Saturday and got in my powder blue Mercury rent-a-car and there was poo on the windshield. Not kidding. Not bird poo. Not even like small animal droppings. Poo. We’re talking full on brown log here. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the stinky log resting on my windshield just above the wiper blade. Also unfortunately, there was water on my windshield and I had to use the wiper blade. The result was a brown smear in an arc across the windshield. That’s right…a Turd Rainbow.
Absolutely disgusting. I really am perplxed as to how a poo got on my car. Did someone put it there? There was a car wash across the road, do they sneak out at night and put poo on cars to drum up extra business? Then I started thinking about some alternate theories:
I shared this story with my audience at Keene. They enjoyed it. Probably not as much as I did. The show was a ticketed event and sold out! They even made more room and sold a few extra tickets right before the show! The students were great and very nice. They decorated my green room:
I left wondering if the students would talk about me after the show. “He was funny, but he talked about poo a lot.”
While I enjoyed the novelty of poo on my windshield, I didn’t want to get NEAR it. It was staying right where it was. I don’t touch poo. – kind of a personal rule, I guess. So I left the log resting comfortably on the bottom of the windshield and decided to get lunch. I guess I underestimated the smell of a Turd Rainbow. When I went through the drive through at Wendy’s, I had forgotten about the brown smear on my window and I kept smelling the most awful smell. “This Wendy’s smells like CRAP!” I kept thinking. I considered telling the lady at the window that they need to clean up outside or something, because the place really did smell awful. It wasn’t until I was halfway to Franklin Pierce University that I realized what I was smelling was the Turd Rainbow. Taste the Rainbow.
Franklin Pierce University was beautiful. It’s in the part of New Hampshire that always reminds me of the movie “What About Bob” with Bill Murray.
I’m happy I snapped this photo out of the car window while driving in. The colors on the leaves were amazing and the anchored sailboat just added to the scene. The university is placed right on this large pond nestled in the mountains of New Hampshire.
Franklin Pierce had another large crowd – more than 150 – and they had to add chairs. I love to hear them tell me that. So flattering. I look forward to coming back sometime.
I sold my first few posters at these shows, which was cool. If you can’t get to a show, you can buy them here.
That’s all I have for now. I’m stuck at an airport for about 3 more hours before I can get home. So if you are a facebook or myspace friend, write me a note or something to help pass the time!
peace, love and (you guessed it) Turd Rainbows™,
The new posters are up on the store and available now! Hang them up in your dorm room! Click the poster!
If you get the opportunity to watch some videos of Kevin Smith’s live presentation, he is an absolutely amazing storyteller. Here’s one of my favorites:
I’m feeling much better. Whatever vile illness existed inside my gut last week is much less painful this week. Still not 100%, but feeling much better. This weekend I flew back to Manchester, NH to perform in New London, NH at Colby Sawyer College.
First, let me say something – When I got to the Manchester Airport Sunday, John McCain’s “Straight Talk Express” was there. I didn’t take a photo because my camera was put away in my bag. Apparently he was christening a Nascar race or a gun rally or something. In any case – everyone made a big deal about Barack Obama’s plane because he took the American flag off the tail when he repainted it with his campaign colors (red, white and blue). If that’s such an issue why isn’t anyone pointing out that McCain’s plane is blue and yellow? No American flag, no red white and blue. Just sayin:
Anyway, I drove about an hour to New London, NH. I wanted to grab a bite to eat when I got there, so I used the “Food” option on my Garmin. The only places that came up were Mom and Pop joints, so I instantly knew I was in a small town. I was craving some Applebees or maybe Red Lobster. The only thing on the map I’d ever heard of before was Subway and it was closed on Sunday! So I headed to “Pizza Chef” and had a hot sub. It was actually pretty good. The girls behind the counter were nice and made a joke about how they accept every kind of currency except IOU’s.
Then I arrived at my motel. The Fairway Motel. I walked into the office (which was really just a hallway in someone’s house), and got the key to my room (which was a real key) and proceeded to room #5 at the creepy Bates Motel like place. It was actually really nice and clean and had TV and wireless Internet, so I was fine. Really, if ANYWHERE has TV and wireless Internet, I’m pretty much set. That said, the place was rather quaint:
I got to Colby Sawyer and was shown around by Megan and Noah. The teaser went really well – lots of interest in the show already. Colby Sawyer only has about 1,000 students, so the expected crowd was somewhere around 100-150. At 5 minutes until showtime, the room was FULL and they had to put more chairs out until they ran out of chairs. In total, about 248 students came to the show and they were an awesome crowd. Super excited. Here are some photos from the show:
There are more photos HERE.
Apparently while I was performing in New Hampshire, they were having 75 mph winds back home in Ohio. My friend who works in the energy industry said that 60% of Ohio was without power on Monday. Flying into Columbus at night, it was interesting to see all the dark spots. You couldn’t really tell where the highways were like you usually can. You could only see the cars themselves. Getting home wasn’t too difficult although there were several traffic lights out along the way. I was happy to see that my house didn’t lose power. My patio furniture is ruined, but we’ve got power and hot water, and for that I feel grateful (and like a spoiled brat). Most of our electricity crews are in Texas helping with the the Hurricane Ike damage down there, so many places in Columbus won’t regain power until as late as Thursday! I really hope people don’t eat spoiled food. Also glad it’s not 100 degrees out – I can’t imagine not having AC!
My next show is at Shepherd University in Shepherdstown, WV. Shepherdstown is a neat little eclectic town near Washington DC with a rich civil war history. I remember having a blast there last year – can’t wait to go back. I’m really flattered that so many of the schools are re-booking me year to year. I try my best to constantly improve the show so even if some of the bits are the same, they’re funnier and better.
Also just announced is an Oct. 21 performance at Eastern Carolina University in Greenville, NC. Check out my performance calendar for more dates.
peace, love and tree limbs in the road,
Hahaha. That title’s gonna get my blog tons of hits. I’ll explain. It’s not as dirty as you think, perverts.
Turns out I contracted some sort of foodbourne illness from the last string of shows. Who knows where it came from – could be the raw oysters or the snapper or the Philly Cheesesteak for all I know. I got pretty sick – the kind of sick that makes you ache from head to toe and makes your mouth go numb. Went to the Dr. and his guess was that I was suffering from an illness that…well I won’t get into the gross details, but the nickname of it is “The Beaver Fever.” Pretty funny. I’m feeling much better now (still not 100%) and back on my feet. Oh wait, I was never off my feet. Let’s see – what all did I do during the time I was sick?
Last Friday I performed at Ohio University’s Baker Center Theater. This was my second performance in this room, as I performed there for the ACUI conference earlier this year. The new Baker Center is an amazing building. Anyone visiting OU should see it to see what a campus center should look like. State-of-the-art EVERYTHING. The turnout was phenomenal. I think we had between 175 and 200 (full house) with students standing on the sides of the auditorium. They promoted the show really well:
A local stand-up from Athens, Matt Karp, opened the show. Funny guy. Takes a lot of flack from his folks about impersonating a vagina onstage.
After the show, despite having a fever and sweating bullets, I drove back to Columbus so I could go to the Buckeye game the next day and kick OU’s butt again! 🙂
Sunday was a fun day – performed at an outdoor wedding reception for a really fun couple. They wanted something eclectic for their wedding reception (they had gotten married in a helicopter in Vegas two days prior) and my show was perfect for it. I had a lot of fun with their friends and family performing. Again, after the show went home and tried to sleep and feel better.
Tuesday I had to get a fill in for a two-man strolling gig that I was scheduled to do. Hated to do that, but it was for the best – I was a mess. But that ended up being the worst of it.
Wednesday was a performance at St. Anselm College in Manchester, NH. I’ve performed at St. Anselm quite a bit in the last couple years. GREAT folks there. Laura, who is the new agent working with Big Name Entertainment, lives in Manchester so she picked me up at the airport and took me to lunch before heading to the college. She also showed me the world’s largest LEGO display, which was just a display of a bunch of old factories in Manchester.
The show at St. A’s was great despite it being really HOT in the room. The crowd was excellent (more guys than I remember at St. A’s) and the students took me to the pub that is in the middle of the campus. This is a popular spot for St. A’s students and you’ll regularly see the monks and priests from the college indulging after a hard day of teaching.
sidenote: I really like the Hampton Inn in Bedford, NH where St. A’s puts me up. It’s always really clean and nice. But outside of my window, I saw this:
A little scary, but I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Maybe the rodent catchers just needed a place to stay for the night?
That’s all I got for now. OH – two more things! The new routine is coming together! I won’t say too much until it’s completed, but here’s a sneak preview:
The other thing. My good friend Leah Cunningham has been working on posters for my show. I’ve got a rough draft of the new poster and because you’re nice enough to be reading my blog, here’s a sneak preview of that:
Let me know what you think! I’d love your input! That’s all for now I believe!
peace, love, and a healthy beaver community,
It’s been another week full of excitement. Despite the lack of sleep and missing home, this job has been more fun in the last two weeks than I can ever remember. This will be a long entry – hang with me!
I wrote about last week’s shows and the absolutely amazing crowd at the University of Northern Colorado. This week took me to Indiana, Massachusetts, Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania.
I started by driving to Kokomo, Indiana for a show at Indiana University – Kokomo, which is a 100% commuter campus. I sometimes get scared about performing at non-traditional campuses like this because you never know who will show up and the audiences can be so different from the traditional 18-22 year old audiences that I’m used to in colleges. I started the day performing close-up for a BBQ outdoors.
Turned out that we got a fair size crowd to the show (for a commuter campus on a Thursday night) and I had a good time. Even the Chancellor of the University came to the show with his wife. Here’s a photo of the show at Kokomo.
More photos from Kokomo are here.
After the show, I drove 5 hours to Cleveland. Before the Cleveland Air Show, however, I had a performance in Paxton, Massachusetts. So by the time I got to Cleveland, I got about 2 hours sleep before getting on a plane to Boston. The show at Anna Maria was cool. The people were a blast. My host for the night was a student named Danielle who was about as big as my pinky but was a firefighter – pretty impressive.
The auditorium at Anna Maria was perfect for my show – a great size with a red carpeted stage. Some enthusiastic guys from the bball team came and sat in the front row. They freaked out a lot. It was great. More photos of the show here. After the show, I drove back to Boston where I stayed and slept a few hours before getting up EARLY for a flight back to Cleveland.
I’ve been getting HD video from EVERY show so hopefully one day I’ll edit it and put it up somewhere where you all can see it.
So I arrive in Cleveland early Saturday morning and was ready for my day with the U.S. Navy Blue Angels at the Cleveland Air Show. I was given the best treatment by these guys – sat in the VIP section, hung out with them – you name it. There are lots of photos up at Flickr, but here are a few:
After the airshow, it was a late night at a western bar with my new friends and then bright and early, it was off to Florida.
I flew into Ft. Lauderdale airport and didn’t have a show Sunday night, so I headed out to Ft. Lauderdale Beach to spend the day. The water was AWESOME and beach was beautiful. It was REALLY windy and there were a lot of people kite surfing – something I hadn’t seen people do before.
I ended up sitting at a little beach cafe enjoying a plate of fresh snapper for dinner as it started to get dark.
On Monday I had lunch at an AWESOME Chinese Buffet called “Crazy Buffet’ in West Palm Beach. One of the nicer ones I’ve ever been to. Then went to the beach again – this time at West Palm – and then got ready for my show at Northwood University.
Northwood is a small business school with a fence all around it and a moat. After being stopped by the gatekeeper, I wondered how welcome I’d feel until I saw this:
So nice of them. We had a good turnout at the show — it was a really nice venue for a show my size! Photos here.
Before the show started, I had to get a beer bottle (the one that I break in the show), so James – a student showed me how to “break out” of Northwood. Because of shopping cart theft, they literally had to build a wall between the local shopping center and the college. So students climb the wall to go shopping, go to the bars, hang out, etc. Not to be denied the full Northwood University experience, I happily climbed the wall to get my much-needed show supplies! I wish I had a photo of that!
The next day I flew to Philadelphia for a show at Penn State Abington. PSU Abington does noon shows, so I like to fly in the night before to make everything easier. I spent some time at the King of Prussia mall which was AMAZING. I had raw oysters for the first time and did some power shopping.
The show at PSU Abington was great – this is one of the best noon shows a college performer can do. The students are eager to come to the show because they’re on a common break and the performance space has windows all across the back so other students can see in and become interested.
We had another record crowd – something like 215 or so – standing room only! The show was a fun one – one of the people throwing the deck of cards hit the ceiling pretty hard and scattered the cards everywhere. I ended up completing the trick with a 4-card deck. During the “improv magic” bit, someone yelled something pretty nasty, so it made it funnier when I decided we should probably just do the bit with a piece of rope instead of what they yelled.
I appreciate all the facebook and myspace adds I’ve been getting lately – it’s really been incredible. Keep in contact with me – I love hearing from people.
Tomorrow I perform at Ohio University, then at someone’s wedding on Sunday! Then another week of shows and traveling after that! I’m sure I’ll have more photos and more to talk about!
peace, love and blue angels,
Back to school! That’s been the theme of the week as I ended my string of corporate shows in St. Louis, MO on Monday and started the fall college tour. St. Louis was great. I performed for a Forbes Top 50 company and the previous week, a billion dollar IT dept. for another Fortune 500 company. I got some time while in St. Louis to visit the famous Gateway Arch. I took some photos (see them on the “Photos from the Road” Flickr set) and had some time to visit Gibbol’s, a really nice Juggling/Clown/Magic/Costume shop at the Landing.
This is the view looking straight down from the top of the St. Louis Gateway Arch
Thursday brought me to Capital University in Bexley, OH for their Orientation/Welcome Week. I really like the kids at Cap. Many of the Orientation staff were also current or former University Programming students, so I knew many of them. I think we had somewhere between 300-400 in Mees Auditorium for the show. I have video from the show, but I haven’t grabbed it out of the camera yet. I was humbled by a standing ovation from the audience.
On Friday, I visited Clarion University in Clarion, PA. Jamie at Clarion is a good friend of mine (and fellow OSUMB alum!) and she had me in for Clarion’s Welcome Week. I hung out at a BBQ outside talking to people about the show for awhile. It was there that I performed for the entire Clarion Football team (it’s okay guys, it’s not always about winning) and the Clarion International Students Club (who politely applauded after every move I made). The show was in Gemmel Student center, which I’ve compared in the past to the typical gymnasium from Back to the Future’s “Enchantment Under the Sea” Dance.
I think we got several hundred students out to the show in Clarion, and went to Eat n’ Park afterward where I predicted the time set on a watch in the kitchen and we cried laughing at a drunk patron of the restaurant.
The next morning, I drove to the Cleveland Airport to fly to Colorado for a performance at the University of Northern Colorado. I had a layover in Chicago as Barack Obama was flying out to meet Joe Biden in Springfield, IL. I caught his plane taking off!
Click the photo to enlarge it and see the flag talked about here. It was really exciting at Chicago Midway, as everyone on my flight to Denver was on their way to the Democratic National Convention, including a State Senator from Louisiana Chicago Tribune Jounralists, and several Obama staffers. Whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat, it was really exciting as the plane was buzzing with energy and friendliness. The flight attendant sang to us.
The show at th University of Northern Colorado was great. The town smells like cow-poop, but other than that, it’s a really nice city. Very modern feeling for being out amongst so many ranches. I was surprised to arrive to 1,000 chairs set up!
The UNC Program Council (which was AWESOME, btw), told me that their events so far had been very heavily attended so they were expecting a full house. And BOY did they deliver! By 8pm, the seats were filled will more standing in the back!
The show went very well and the crowd was very enthusiastic and fun. I was once again humbled by a standing ovation of the more than 1,000 students in attendance. I really appreciate it. It makes me happy that people enjoy what I do. It makes all this travel worth it for sure. PLUS – UNC gave me a scarf and a football hackey sack!
That’s all for right now. I’m exhausted, but I finally get to head home today and will be home for 3 days! Next week, I travel to Kokomo, Indiana, Paxton, MA, Cleveland, OH and then its off to West Palm Beach, FL then Philly!
Peace, love and Obama,
I know I’ve left some of you wondering about the new show that I’m excited about. I was asked by the U.S. Navy Blue Angels Flight Demonstration Squadron to do a performance at their home base in Pensacola, Florida! Many of you have seen the Blue Angels at air shows or on television. Personally, I’ve been a fan of them since I was a kid and as a bit of an aviation buff, this is a huge thrill for me. I’ll also be hanging out with and doing magic for the Blue Angels at the Cleveland Air Show in August! Don’t worry, I’ll be getting plenty of video! Here’s a clip about them that you’ll enjoy…
Hope everyone is enjoying the summer! Things here have been great. I’m in the process of moving my blournal to WordPress instead of Myspace. Most readers of my blournal read it as an imported Facebook note anyway, so it won’t matter! If you’re interested, the feed for my blournal is:
For me, summer means that my schedule slows down a bit from touring colleges and I performing a slightly less rigorous schedule of private performances for corporations and what not. My last performance was for the Ohio Clerk of Courts Education Committee which turned out to get a little crazy. There was drunken heckling involved and we all had fun.
I got a very exciting phone call this week for a future performance. Here’s a hint, the person/people I’ll be performing for are a household name and are seen by 15 million people a year.
The Fall College Tour is really shaping up, but there are still some available dates if your college or university is interested! We’re also booking into Spring 09. Here’s a preliminary Fall Schedule:
FALL 08 SCHEDULE (all dates subject to change)
Jul 17, 2008 Columbus, OH Private Corporate Event
Aug 17, 2008 St. Louis, MO Private Corporate Event
Aug 18, 2008 St. Louis, MO Private Corporate Event
Aug 22, 2008 Clarion, PA Clarion University
Aug 23, 2008 Greeley, CO University of Northern Colorado
Aug 25, 2008 Bexley, OH Capital University
Aug 29, 2008 Kokomo, IN Indiana University – Kokomo
Aug 30, 2008 Cleveland, OH Private Special Event
Sep 01, 2008 West Palm Beach, FL Northwood University
Sep 04, 2008 Philadelphia, PA Penn State University – Abington
Sep 07, 2008 Hilliard, OH Private Event
Sep 10, 2008 Manchester, NH St. Anselm College
Sep 14, 2008 New London, NH Colby-Sawyer College
Sep 27, 2008 Rindge, NH Franklin Pierce University
Oct 02, 2008 Chattanooga, TN NACA South
Oct 03, 2008 Erie, PA Mercyhurst College
Oct 04, 2008 Chattanooga, TN NACA South
Oct 09, 2008 Edinburg, TX Univ. Texas-Pan Am
Oct 23, 2008 Lyndonville, VT Lyndon State College
Oct 24, 2008 Lancaster, PA NACA MidAtlantic
Oct 25, 2008 Lancaster, PA NACA MidAtlantic
Oct 30, 2008 Peoria, IL NACA MidAmerica
Oct 31, 2008 Peoria, IL NACA MidAmerica
Nov 1, 2008 Peoria, IL NACA MidAmerica
Nov 6, 2008 Hartford, CT NACA Northeast
Nov 7, 2008 Hartford, CT NACA Northeast
Nov 8, 2008 Hartford, CT NACA Northeast
Dec 06, 2008 Celina, OH Private Corporate Event
Dec 12, 2008 Pensacola, FL Private Special Event
Dec 13, 2008 Zanesville, OH Private Corporate Event
Let me know if I’ll be in your town & I’ll make sure you can come to the show if possible!