I’m fortunate that I’ve learned to be very flexible. Touring colleges has taught me that I have to be. One night I’ll be performing in a 1200-seat performing arts center and the next I’ll be performing for 30 students eating chicken tenders in a cafeteria. It’s simply not possible to be a diva when the alternative to your show is joining the weird kids for a lunchtime game of Magic the Gathering. On Friday night, I took a trip to East Lansing, Michigan to perform at Michigan State University. And some of the Halloween gremlins got into the sound system and almost got the best of me!
MSU has a neat performance space. It’s a cafeteria area that closes early on programming days and converts into a nice little club atmosphere. I was shocked at the quality of the sound and lighting system for the type of space. Here’s a shot of the stage:
Right before we were about to open doors, the sound system mysteriously shut down. Luckily a woman named Tammy was there who knew her way around the system. We held the doors for a bit – still no luck with the sound system. To get technical, MSU uses a Soundweb network to control the hardware with a windows operating system and one of the processors was going a little haywire with a peak indicator and the software mistakenly thought that the devices didn’t match up with the drivers. In short, buy a Mac. We finally let the audience in and after 10 minutes past the posted show time, I decided to go onstage without a mic or music.
While my show is best with a mic and music, I can perform without it. I just have to adapt and make it work. The entire feel of the show changes and becomes much more intimate. I took the stage and right away did a couple new jokes that I wrote. Then from the sound booth, I heard a voice talking into a microphone! The ensuing conversation with Tammy went something like this:
Michael: God, is that you?
Voice: Yes, Michael. It is me. God.
Michael: God, thank you so much for getting the sound system up and running. That was amazing.
Voice: I do many amazing things. I’m God.
Michael: Wow. Hey God?
Voice: Yes, Michael?
Michael: Would it be a bad time to discuss atheism?
I think what would have been even more awesomer than God fixing the sound system would be if Hulk Hogan did it.
After the show, highlight of the night was sitting outside my hotel and watching hundreds of college kids walking to parties in the sluttiest costumes imaginable.
peace, love and slutty gremlins,
MK
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